XXXIII

The costs of being a transgender woman can be overwhelming at times.

Christmas is upon us and I will be without my family as usual.  My adopted daughter has not talked with me for 10 years and my brother and sisters have rejected me because I am a woman. 

Yes it can be difficult when I hear all the plans my co-workers have.  They will be having family celebrations and I am happy for them. 

For many of us who are transgender, there are no family celebrations.  We lament our losses and for many just hope this time of year passes quickly.

I have described my life is sometimes like living on an island far away from people.   At times this OK because when I in that manic chaos state I really don’t want to be around people.  

Yes I miss family celebrations of Christmas, especially with my daughter.  I am sure she will have plans and I am happy for her.  Maybe one of these days she will contact me.

What I know is that at this time of year I need to be thankful for friends and the courage to live an authentic life.  Was being rejected by family too much.  In my depressed mind I may think yes it is too much.  I have to see that my being a woman is more important, because it has stopped the Gender Dysphoria.  

So I have given myself a gift that is too precious. 

Merry Christmas to all of you and to myself.

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