Musings XXIII

Roller Coaster part 2.  The Diagnosis

In my previous entry I talked about feeling like I have been on a roller coaster emotionally.  

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and was brutally honest with myself and her about my past depression and what was going on now.  I have been noticing that I am returning to chaotic thoughts and thoughts of suicide.   Then the dropping into depression.   The time where I feel normal was becoming shorter.

Yes I became worried because even my best efforts to fight the moods were starting to fail.  I would end up exhausted and not caring if things got done in my apartment.  

So after lots of questions and digging deep for answers, my Psychiatrist diagnosed me with mild to moderate Bipolar condition.

Is this the end of the world for me?  No, it is a beginning of dealing with my mental illness. 

Please don’t pity me or paint me with this condition.   Rather listen and realize this just part of me and I am going to be healthy and continue to be honest.  

As I emotionally process this diagnosis I will write more about what it is like to be Bipolar.

I hope to be a voice that can show mental illness is like any illness or disease.   If I adhere to what my doctors want me to do, I have a chance to live a wonderful life as a woman.

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