Musings XVI

Being Strong

I consider myself to be a a strong and confident woman.  I try to roll with life’s challenges.   Being a transgender woman is not easy and I have to smile even if my heart is hurting.  

I sometimes think people don’t realize is the inside of my tough chick veneer is s feeling woman.  

I think there is the proverbial elephant in the room that we try not to discuss and that is relationships.   Yes I can want someone special in my life and yet it like the elusive brass ring on a carousel, almost within reach yet so impossible to attain.  

I realize that I will need to have the Gender Confirmation Surgery before I will feel comfortable and attractive as a woman.

My experience with dating has been dismal at  best.  2 scammers, and a couple of transgender women that I thought were certifiably out there. 

I am realistic about my chances.  I know people don’t want to date transgender women.  I am not a 20 something woman, I have MS and I am a recovering alcoholic. 

The wonders of dating sites have left me pissed and discouraged.   Guys message me and I have heard it all.  I shake my head because  I say woman seeking woman.   Yet I get lots if  stupid hits.  It doesn’t take a lot of intelligence to realize that they want to have sex with a transgender woman.   This must be in their “bucket list” 

Women can be as interesting also.   The best comment I have heard from a woman is that I probably couldn’t talk with me at her level.  I guess being a regulatory economist is not good enough.

I  know the odds of me finding someone is kind of slim. 

I do know that my heart can be happy because I  am living a full life as a woman.   It can also be broken especially when a wonderful woman is just out of reach.

More to be posted.

Posted from WordPress for Android

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