Who Would Chose to be Transgender?
We have heard the Religious Rights assertion that being Transgender is a choice. It is like we decide that we want to change our gender on a whim. By the way this “choice” position seems to justify there assertion that we are mentally sick.
OK here is the deal, the only choice I had was to live happily or go downhill with self hatred. The mental health issue is not being transgender rather it is the dichotomy of the self identity and the body. Add family and societal rejection and mental health is pushed.
People say don’t help children that exhibit gender dysphoria. My view is they need every avenue of care. If they get care and acceptance they can live life with a better chance of living a healthy life.
I know that being transgender is not easy. Their are issue I will discuss later.
Anyone that says being transgender is a choice, ask them to chose to live as the other gender 24/7 for a year. Ask them if the would enjoy bigotry, anger,rejection and violence? I bet the would decline. Really our only choice is to live or in some cases die.
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The Conundrum of labels
For the most part I just see myself as a woman. I joke that I am female and just need some plumbing work done on me.
Now the are factions within society that will disagree. There are the Right Wing Christians Conservatives that will say I am an abomination and most likely a pedophile. I mean why else would I use the women’s restroom. Then there are the ultra radical feminists that are Transgender Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERFS) who think transgender women promote the rape culture and are men in dresses.
I have tried to engage in rational discourse with both groups and it is more fulfilling having a conversation with a brick wall. Bring science or biology to the discussion is futile. My error is assuming these people have a bare bones understanding of science.
Our society loves labels and acronyms and this is true in describing people. there is a brewing controversy over the term “Cis”. This term mean “not transgender”
In a perfect world people would those of us that are Transgender would be be seen as either women or men. There is a little issue and that is less than 10% of Americans know a transgender person. So the rest are influenced by what they hear or see.
People that know me see me as a woman. Those that don’t may label me as transgender.
I have written about the issues of “Papers Please” and people don’t know what that type os social construct means to us.
In a perfect world those that believe in civil rights would rise up against the conservatives and say NO!!!
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There is Hope
In the midst of the discriminatory Religious Freedom legislation and anti-transgender legislation, there are stories of hope. Today I read a story about how a dad changed his heart and embraced his transgender daughter. He fights for the rights of transgender youth and his daughter pushes for the rights of transgender youth.
Yes I push for the rights of LGBT people and it sometimes feel like the fight is nor going well.
What I have to see is my own personal victory. I went from a person that was filled with incredible depression and self hate to a confident woman that is planning a trip to Thailand to have Gender confirmation surgery. I have incredible loving and supportive friends.
One of my friends is now a true sister. She is walking with me on this part of my journey. We have laughed and share moments where my happiness is tinged with tears. She has seen me at my worst and best and all I get is real love.
So I may scream outrage about stupid laws, however I have to take time to notice what is good.
Maybe highlighting the unconditional love a dad has for his transgender daughter is also a message that is more important at the moment.
I know taking time to think about my little sister is also important.
I will continue fighting and also take time to point out amazing people and victories.